It’s one of those things we usually do quite mindlessly. Without effort. Without ceremony. Yet on this occasion, stepping into the shower pieced together a chain of events and associative symptoms that has led me to where I am now – sitting here sharing this, a little burnt at the edges.
One night last week, I took my regular evening shower. I stepped in and took the relief of the hot water streaming over me. I was finding showers particularly comforting lately. Like a big warm hug they not only cleansed me of my day, they made me feel a little loved. A little worthwhile of the precious thing that is my council water.
But on this occasion, something felt weird. Something wasn’t right…
I came out of my drenched-with-water-love state and looked down.
Confused, I gasped!
I stood there – not naked – but ….
What? Why am I wearing my underwear in the shower?
Baffled, I retraced my steps to the shower… how did I miss removing my final layer of clothing? Which at this point was waterlogged and getting heavier and heavier. Much how my heart was feeling when I finally realised… I think I have a bit of a problem here.
Perhaps I was – a little bit tired.
This wasn’t the first time I had experienced underwear-in-the-shower-syndrome. Just over 3 years ago I had my first episode. I was working for a NGO at the time and it was clear that I was giving just a little more energy than I had available to be able to function as a normal human being at the same time as go to work. And in this case, a series of nasty mishaps including a yucky car accident (which I’d like to point out was not my fault!) meaning my wheelbarrow pose in yoga has never been the same since…
My GP diagnosed it. Burn out.
Fast forward to today with a trail of awkward mishaps indicating I am doing a pretty good impression of someone who is exhausted (again).
Yep, me and burn out have become good pals.
A tidal wave of stressors (which have been relentless for what seems like an eternity) have taken their toll – and wham-bam you’ve got a girl who is exhausted. Burnt out and smoldering at the edges.
Light a match and watch her EXPLODE.
That’s if she had the energy for a KAPOW. If she was to explode, it would probably more likely sound like a…
Know the feeling too?
5 signs you know you have burn out:
- You have some sort of shower-incident (as per above)
- You go to make a cup of tea and instead of plugging the kettle into the wall, you turn on the gas stove and sit it on top of the flame – old school style. (Because you have had a kettle that has worked like that never.)
- You can’t find the milk. It’s in the cupboard. And it smells.
- You can’t sleep. But on the odd occasion you can sleep, this so-called period of restful time-out for your body to re-charge is filled with nasty dreams leaving you waking up either in a cold sweat, or crying like a 5-year-old.
- Your instagram feed is full of people with lives full of sunshine and rainbows and seemingly limitless time to post photos of their exercise outfits, beach view or latest favourite positive affirmation… And they aren’t at all affirming. In fact, it makes you want to choke the chia seeds out of them.
And so dear sorellas the take homes of my sad sad story are these:
- Watch for your own occasions of unfortunate mishaps (ie. Doing anything that doesn’t make too much sense). If you are feeling the heat – do something about it. Stop. Figure it out. Change it. Don’t let it get to the point where you are standing in the shower scratching your head.
- If you think someone else you love dearly is starting to lose it – help them to help themselves. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy so it’s essential our no. 1 fans step up and slap us around a bit to get us going again (in a loving way of course).
- Finally, be kind to others. You never know what type of day someone is having or what might be going on behind the scenes – so don’t push people’s buttons.
To the Officeworks girl who I berated for pushing my said buttons – I’m sorry I lost my shit at you (and intentionally very loudly) in front of the 10 other customers queuing for your service. However it doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t very good at your job and that the customer is always right. Just saying.
sunshine & sprinkles,
Have you had burn out? What were your signs & symptoms and how did you recover?