Is it me or my daughter you don’t like?

There have been a few changes for my daughter at childcare this year as she has now moved into the Kindy room. It was a time to get to know some new friends, as many of the kids she played with last year have now left for Prep.

Climbing a tree

Climbing Tree Fun at the Park - my daughter & her little brother

As the weeks went on I started to hear the same name being repeated – let’s call her… ‘Anne’.  My daughter would come home talking about Anne regularly.  I would ask her “How was your day?” and she would reply with:

“Anne did ‘this’, and it was so funny when Anne did ‘that’”Once when I dropped her off to Kindy she asked “Can I put my bag next to Anne’s?”

I was thrilled for her.  She had made a friend, all on her own, away from our adult friends and their children that she gets to play with regularly.

Given this new found friendship I began thinking it might be nice to have Anne come to the house for a play.  As it happened, we bumped into Anne one weekend at the park.  It was a perfect opportunity for me to meet Anne’s mum and say hello.  So I began with “Hi there, my daughter has been talking a lot about your daughter. Sounds like they are great little friends!” To which Anne’s mum just smiled and turned away.

Not even one word in reply to me!

So there I was, left awkwardly standing at the slide, bewildered. On normal kindy drop off I understand the ‘no-time-for-chatting’ routine and the polite smile and move on (particularly when you are leaving a clingy child behind and therefore distracted and stressed).  But in the park, while kids play, with all the time in the world for small talk…I got nothing.

That evening I mentioned to my husband how Anne’s mum gave me the brush off.  And to my surprise he knew exactly who I was talking about:

“I also said hello to her at Kindy once and she did the same thing to me!!!” he recalled.

Anne – I’m so sorry darling.  You are a sweet little thing but unfortunately as much as we would love to have you, I don’t think you will be able to come over for a play with my daughter.  You’ll only be able to enjoy her company at Kindy.

I don’t mind that your mum is super-daggy, but I do mind that she’s a snob!

x alisha

Can you relate to this? Have you been snobbed? Perfect outlet here ladies to ‘vent’ so feel free to do so in the comment box below!

14 thoughts on “Is it me or my daughter you don’t like?

    • Hi becomingcliche – I didn’t consider that shyness could be a factor and I’ll keep this in mind- thanks for your thoughts. I have been seeing and smiling at this particular mum since the beginning of the year- probably twice a week at least at kindy drop off or pick up so I guess I would totally understand if I was a complete stranger approaching her in the park! I must admit I quite like quiet time in the park myself while my kids are playing happily. Thanks for you comment.

  1. Their loss Leish, you and your family are beautiful! They dont know what they are missing out on. In these circustances I put it down to people form so many issues in life they may be painfully shy or just a plain and simple snob and you need to try and not take it to heart just keep smiling and may be one day you will find out the real story. And sometimes you are better off and may have dodge a bullet so to speak! x

    • Thanks KL – the last thing I want is to make someone feel uncomfortable! It wasn’t a big deal -but enough for me to be left standing there a bit confused! Wondering whether I could approach her again another time…as my little girl would love her little girl to visit!

  2. Awkward! Dan is shy and shing, butometimes strow muuggles with the whole ‘chatting to parents in the park’ t there’s no need to be rude. We all have things going on in our lives but how much effort does it take to string one sentence together in reply, even on your most stressed days! I agree…. ‘their loss Leish!’ xxx

    • Yikes, not sure what happened to my post – typo central! Should read….
      Dan is shy and sometimes struggles with the whole “chatting to parents in the park” thing, but there is no need to be rude!!! 🙂

      • Hi Deb – thanks for your comment, I’m sure Dan is great at a bit of random chit chat. Yay for Dad’s taking kids to the park…in my house this mean I’m getting a sleep in!!

      • Hi Sorella’s Mom,

        I loved your post, but I don’t know how I reblogged it (did my son accidentally do it when he picked up my phone?). If it fit with the theme of my blog, I would’ve left it there, but it was totally off-topic. So I apologize, but I deleted it! I have to tell you that I, too, have experienced what you did, but to a lesser degree. A few times I’ve been talking with a mother at a park (but not one that my child is already friends with, like in your case), and after I said something, the parent looked distant and walked away. Twice when I mentioned what city I live in, after what had been a nice conversation up to that point (Really?? People really care whether we’re from the wealthier town next door or our very slightly lower-income one??), and once when I mentioned my son isn’t going to preschool (after they had asked me what preschool he’s going to). My guess is her rudeness has nothing to do with you or your daughter. Clearly, there’s something wrong with her… self esteem, mental illness, her parents failed to teach her common social courtesies, social anxiety… who knows? It’s not you!

        -Linda (A Nature Mom)

  3. Oh wow, that has yet to happen to me. I wonder why she snubbed you like that? In hoping for the best, maybe she’s extremely shy, and not that she thinks she’s too cool.

    • Hi Sleeping Mom! At the time, I did feel that she could have put a couple of words together in response- but yes, benefit of the doubt is that perhaps she is very shy and even though I would be a familiar face to her- perhaps she just didn’t know what to say back. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

  4. I’m so glad to hear this happens to other people! I get that a lot. I’m a pretty bubbly type of person, always saying hello and greeting people. Most of the time the only reaction I get is the head to toe look. You know, that look were you start wondering if your are wearing something that belongs to them………… hahaha – I’m starting to wonder if I should stop greeting people and being friendly, perhaps I’m too much of an embarrassment to be associated with.
    I agree with KL – It’s their loss.

    • Hey Jacinta – Maybe people are looking at what your wearing thinking they love how you throw together your ‘park’ outfit! Don’t stop being friendly…. remember the wonderful response that guy that gave out the free hugs received? Share the love I reckon!! Thanks for your comment.

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